Meth… Not Even Once

I went with my daughter to the social security office Friday around 1:00 pm. I go to the restroom which we were seated in view of, take my phone from my back pocket and sit on the toilet paper holder. I forgot to get it. Two others had been in and out before I realized and went in looking for it.
No phone. I go ask if anyone turned in a phone. “No.” I go to ask each of the two women who had went in the restroom and ask if they had seen it. Both said “No.”
I call my phone…it is off. I panic.
One of the two women gets up, goes outside to her car. Mom, who rode with us,  goes out there and she is in a car with another girl. Mom asked if she was leaving before they call her number to which she replies, “No,  I’m just resting, my number is a long ways off.”
We see the beat up ol’ car they are driving. I say, “It’s really devastating that I lost my phone because I’m waiting on phone calls about jobs. She AND her friend say they know how I feel, they are unemployed too and wish me luck on both finding my phone and a job. I didn’t bother to tell them I’m a freelancer.
I called the police. I called AT&T and report my phone stolen, putting it in lost phone mode. We leave after waiting on police like an hour, they never showed. However, there was a Homeland Security officer who made a report and let me know later he gave the police the info when they showed up…four hours later.
After we left the social security office my daughter says, “A notification just came through…your phone is next door to the bowling alley.”
I call police who tells me to come file a report. Of course, I ignore them and drive to the location thinking the thieves may have just thrown it out or went to one of those kiosks you can just drop it in to sell. 
Sitting in the Food City parking lot is the beat up ol’ car.
The passenger side window on the car is half down, I open the door and start looking. The keys are in the ignition! There is an Android phone and two purses in the car. WTF?!?
I tell my daughter to call my phone…it rings. It’s in the glove compartment!
After retrieving my phone, I hid their car keys in the pocket on back of passenger seat and put something on top so they cannot easily be seen. Mom would not let me throw them in the lake. 😡
I get a clip board from their backseat which has a McDonald’s application folder on it, open a brand new pack of Sharpies, also lying on their backseat, and write…

“Got my phone CUNT!”

Left the note on the front seat.
Meanwhile, I had called a friend to meet me there and she had parked right behind their car. We were a couple rows over talking about how, “You can’t make this stuff up!” when another piece of crap car pulls up beside theirs.
This older couple who looked to be late 60’s or early 70’s gets out with a guy, maybe late 30’s…all trashy looking. So we go get in my friend’s car right behind them, acting like we are looking at our phones, talking… and watch them search for the keys for half an hour. (tee hee)
The younger man goes in the store, comes back out in less than a minute, they start the car, while the old man is STILL looking for the keys, the woman and younger man leave in it. The older man leaves in the other car they had come in.
I’m REALLY pissed the key search was not longer!
We figured the car owner must work in Food City and the younger man must have went in to get a second set of keys. So I go in and tell the manager what happened. He looks at the video footage and told me they had just chased those same girls out because they were stealing steaks.
Bitches.
Sidenote:
My Facebook book post this morning:
“I think God dropped acid the day He planned my life. #NeverBoring #exciting #SayNoToDrugs #NeverBetter #HappyFriday
Moral of this event:
Do not joke with God about Him doing drugs!!!
Keep your phone in your hand!
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